Life Modes

My wife and I started doing monthly day dates while the kids are at school. I take the day off from work and we get time to ourselves.

And we came up with specific formats for the day to cover the “modes” were in:

• Play when we want creativity and fun.
• Pause when we want reflection and calm.

The default mode is Work Mode: The continuous and repetitive process of doing work. This applies whether you work a 9-5, side hustle, or run a family and household. It’s all work. And it will consume all the brain space you have, which is why you have to intentionally build rhythms for playing and pausing.

On a recent Pause Day, my wife had a revelation about the type of things she wants to pursue. That’s a wonderful feeling. And you can only get there through pausing, reflecting, and thinking critically. Engage in conversation, rethink assumptions, and question everything.

Pause Mode requires a mindset shift. You have to remove your ego and detach from the stories you’re telling yourself. Open yourself up to novel insights and ideas you wouldn’t find otherwise.

Play Mode sparks curiosity and creativity. It opens neural pathways, relieves stress, and restores your energy. I think of play as activities you’d enjoy as a child: building forts, playing board games, or just running around outside.

My wife and I do this together as a shared experience, but it applies to teams, too. Pause Mode is when you do a team retrospective at the end of a project. Play Mode is when you do team-building activities or connect together socially.

Understanding these Life Modes has helped me fluidly shift as my energy ebbs and flows. When I’m low energy, I know I need to pause or play. It moves me into the right headspace to get back into Work Mode with clarity and focus.

Because sometimes we have to slow down so we can speed up.