Managing the Middle

I have a love-hate relationship with goals. Said better: I love them until I hate them. They give me direction, but when I come up short (even against a lofty goal), I get frustrated. No goal is better than the wrong goal, so I only set them when I’m certain it’s serving the impact I want.

But there are three techniques I use to combat my common frustrations with goals.

Identify the motivation.

Make sure you’re crystal clear on your why, the reason for setting the goal. If you’re not sure, keep asking yourself why until you get to the core truth. When you know your why, you can keep refining the how until it’s right. If your goal is to read 50 books, then the motivation might be to “learn new perspectives” and the how should shift. You could read less, but go deeper. This serves the same overall motivation, but the tactic is now different.

Reframe your setbacks.

Setbacks are inevitable—they’re part of the journey. But the battle is in our mind, so we have to regularly reframe problems as opportunities. Did you miss a run when you’re training for a marathon? Instead of dwelling on it, reframe it: How could this be a good thing? Well it could mean you get more time to cross-train on mobility or review running videos. If you don’t slow down and heal, you risk longer-term damage. There’s always a positive—you just have to find it.

Manage the tension to find balance.

Balance comes from understanding the tensions and seamlessly managing them. That tension is good and necessary. Use the tension as a guide, a compass. When managed appropriately, tensions will surface priorities. Continuing with our running example, there is a tension between pushing hard in workouts and allowing time to rest and recover. You have to manage that tension to find the balance and, ultimately, focus your efforts the right way.