Seeking Discomfort

“Do you think I’m ready to be a leader?” was the question posed by someone that used to work on one of my teams. “Absolutely not.” I replied. “Nobody is ever ready.” And that’s the point! You’re not going to get out of bed one day and proclaim “I’m ready!”. You throw yourself in the fire and you learn how to do it the same way you learn how to do anything: by doing it!

Life is change and change is growth. And discomfort is where growth lives. Exercise is the perfect analogy because it teaches us about overcoming discomfort to reach new heights. How does a runner feel after a long run? Absolutely elated. There is energy pumping through every fiber of their being. What’s more, they immediately think about what else they can conquer. A longer run? A faster time? Seeking discomfort and pushing past it elevates us to new heights.

If you aren’t uncomfortable, you aren’t growing.

So how can we actively seek, embrace, and overcome discomfort? How can we actually get comfortable with being uncomfortable? Let’s explore…

Explore Unknowns

Humans crave comfort. We love the status quo. Why? Because it’s known. There aren’t any scary unknowns lurking. But in order to seek out discomfort, we must venture into the unknown—to become an explorer into the depths of uncertainty.

How?

• Take on projects outside your expertise. Don’t wait until you have the skills required to complete a project. Use an unfamiliar project as the opportunity to learn new skills.
• Read books on unfamiliar topics. Books are an approachable way to explore the unknown. Pick a topic you know nothing about (and are interested in), and read a book on it. You’ll expand your thinking and unlock new insights as you connect dots to other topics you know.
• Learn a completely new skill. This can be something related to work or a personal hobby. If you stare at a computer screen all day, do something with your hands—preferably outside in nature. Like reading books on new topics, this will expand your thinking and discover untapped insights.

Choose the Hard Path

When given the option, choose the harder path whenever possible. If you succeed, you win. If you don’t, you learn. Either way, you win. You’re making an active choice to be a participant in your personal growth. Make it a challenge.

How?

• Take on leadership roles. Whether at work or in community organizations, volunteer to lead projects or initiatives that stretch your capabilities. It’s easy to fall in line, but it’s much harder to raise your hand and be the one held accountable for making progress.
• Set ambitious deadlines. Challenge yourself by setting shorter timelines than you’re comfortable with. Constraints breed creativity, and this creates productive pressure to innovate and grow. When you set a deadline, challenge yourself to cut it in half.
• Choose manual over automatic. Take the stairs instead the elevator; cook the food instead of ordering out; write the code instead of using AI. Doing the manual work keeps you sharp and avoids taking shortcuts.

See Problems as Opportunities

Once you notice them, you’ll see problems everywhere. The only path to resolution and growth is to reframe how you think about them. Or, as Henry J. Kaiser says in The Power of Patience, “Problems are only opportunities in work clothes.”

Take any problem and reframe it. And then watch the magic unfold as your brain rewires its perception to match the new reality you created.

How?

• Use “How might we” questions. When you encounter a problem, rephrase it as a “How might we…” question. “It takes too long to review Pull Requests” turns into “How might we speed up reviewing Pull Requests?”. The former will take you down a negative path, while the latter opens possibilities and reframes the problem in a positive light.
• Share solutions, not complaints. Instead of venting about problems, make it a habit to propose potential solutions. This transforms you from a critic into a problem-solver. The problem is just the framing for the opportunities. Bring clarity to the problem by identifying solutions (and use techniques like “How might we” questions).
• Look for hidden benefits. Every challenge contains a lesson or opportunity for improvement. Did you get summoned for Jury Duty? Well now you can get time to read those books you’ve been wanting to read. Side note: This is the actual reframe I used on myself when I was summoned for Jury Duty. I didn’t get called, but it was helpful!

The Growth Drug

Discomfort is a gateway drug for growth. When you start enjoying the process because you know the outcome, you will be addicted. And that (healthy) addiction will drive you to continuously improve, level up, and be the best version of yourself.

Dive into unknowns, choose the hard path, and see problems as opportunities.