Tension Guides

When two principles pull in different directions, it creates a tension. When managed appropriately, that tension is good because it can create balance.

Two of my principles illustrate this: “Understand First” and “Bias for Action”:

• Understand First is about taking the time to prepare and reflect on the underlying problem.
• Bias for Action is about moving forward, avoiding over-analyzing, and building momentum.

But there’s a tension here…

If we spend too much time preparing, aren’t we over-analyzing?

And if we just get started, don’t we risk working on the wrong thing?

This tension teaches. Life is change, and balance is part of the equation. It’s part of the process, not the destination. So we need to use that tension to make sure we’re neither stuck in planning or recklessly rushing forward.

Tension guides balance.

Now imagine walking across a tightrope. You’re attempting to balance, which requires a constant pull from opposite directions—this is the ‘wobble’ we experience. That is the tension we’re talking about here. When we shift too much in one direction, we pull in the opposite direction in an attempt to stabilize. Sometimes we over-correct and fall, but sometimes we under-correct and lose our balance, too. It’s a beautiful dance, and it permeates everything.

That’s great, but how does this help us? Well, the mindfulness required to notice such things heightens our ability to understand and, ultimately, use it. But how?

Notice Tensions

Look for the tensions you experience daily. I promise you they’re there—you just need to start noticing them and writing them down. For this, keep a “Tension Log”. Every time you feel that tension, document it in your new Tension Log.

• “I’m working too late each night and missing time with my family.”
• “I’m sticking with familiar tools and not adopting anything new.”
• “I’m moving fast, but I’m sacrificing quality in the work.”

Keep in mind, there’s no right or wrong here. I learned this lesson in meditation, too. The thoughts that come up when you are trying to focus on your breath are natural. You aren’t “failing” at meditation. The skill is in the mindfulness. The same is true here. You need to be curious, spot the tension, and write it down.

Seek Balance

“Opposites attract” is a common expression, and it’s applicable here. In order to find balance, we need to find the “opposition tension” as the counterpoint. And if we think Principles First, we can elevate those tensions into their underlying principle.

• “I’m working too late each night and missing time with my family” becomes:
  • Pursue Excellence vs. Prioritize Family
• “I’m sticking with familiar tools and not adopting anything new” becomes:
  • Master Your Craft vs. Embrace Innovation
• “I’m moving fast, but I’m sacrificing quality in the work” becomes:
  • Ship Fast vs. Craft Quality

Holding the opposites in tension doesn’t make it a zero-sum game. The tension creates a dynamic balance where both sides can coexist and even strengthen each other. For example, when we balance “Ship Fast” vs. “Craft Quality”, we might discover that shipping quickly actually improves quality through rapid feedback and iteration. Similarly, setting boundaries between work and family time often leads to higher focus during work hours.

The key is recognizing that these tensions aren’t problems to be solved, but rather forces to be balanced. Like a tightrope walker, we’re constantly making small adjustments, learning from each wobble, and finding that sweet spot where both principles can thrive.

Embrace Discomfort

Seeking Discomfort is how we grow. And if we choose the path of growth (life is change after all), then we need to find comfort in the discomfort. We need to live in the tension, embrace the wobble, and seek progress, not perfection. Like the tightrope walker learning from each wobble, we learn more when we feel the tension and over-correct. Balance is a never-ending process, much as life is a never-ending process of experimentation, change, and growth. Embrace it.